AnYi 安亦

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The last liquid you drank has turned your protagonist into a superhero. What do your character’s new powers allow him or her to do?

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You know that super cliché superhero origin – the ‘I was just a regular guy until I was bitten by a radioactive something-or-other, and now I fight crime as something-or-other-man!” – yeah, well, I think I was bitten by radioactive water. And I say bitten for a reason; never before have I taken a gulp from my glass and thought, “Mmmm, nice and sharp. Just the way I like it.”

At first I just figured there was something in it – a stone, maybe. Mom is a bit of a cheapskate when it comes to plumbing, so perhaps a flake of metal peeled off of the ancient piping. It could happen. Unpleasant for sure, but nothing to worry about.

I’d actually completely forgotten about it until I got in the bath just now. I lie down after the whole preparation song and dance, chin resting on my chest – completely ready to become utterly relaxed – and I think, ‘Where are my legs?’ It took a while to register that a thought like that shouldn’t go through your mind at the pace of, ‘I wonder what’s for dinner tonight?’ It should shoot through you like lightning – like it’s demands an answer right then and there; life or death.

But it’s hard to get all worked up about it when everything feels normal. I could feel the heat of the water, and the plastic of the tub wall against my thigh. I can even see my toes poking above the waterline; they just aren’t connected to a foot anymore. Actually, with the pale nail varnish I have on at the moment, they look sort of like a little boat – floating lazily on the Tubific Ocean. So, rather than panic, I simply lift my leg out of the water. There it is. Nothing to worry about. I can carry on enjoying my bath now, it’ll just take slightly longer while I try to figure out exactly where my body is.

‘Bitten by water’ doesn’t sound so daft now, does it? I guess that would make me Water Woman? No; too DC. Watergirl just sounds wrong for some reason, though. Hmmm… maybe try something less inane: Aqua. Ooh, yeah, that’s good.

“I was just a regular gal until I was bitten by a glass of radioactive water, and now I fight crime as Aqua!” Doesn’t quite fit the script, but it’s close enough for me. Now there’s just one problem: maybe this is my ‘I’m in the bath, let me be lazy’ instincts talking, but that whole fighting crime part sounds super unappealing. What could I even do? Assuming I have no other pow-

What if I have other powers? Sure, I can turn invisible in water, but that’s gotta mean something right? I mean, that doesn’t just happen. What if whatever’s causing that could cause other things, too?

First thought: fast swimming?

Second thought: I’d need a bigger tub…

Third thought: water breathing?

It’s a very odd sensation putting my head under the water. For a start, the water is a bit too shallow, so I have to contort my lower body to get both my mouth and nose simultaneously. Fighting the lifelong instinct to hold my breath is also a challenge, but the oddness only really begins when I open my mouth – the water rushes in, but as far as I can tell it stops there. I can’t feel it in my throat, but I just don’t need to breathe.

Now this could be useful. Maybe not fight-crime-useful, but still.

Imagine all the places I could get with this: Great Barrier Reef, here I come.