AnYi 安亦

You are now a dragon. Describe your hoard.

Welcome! I am your voice guide for the tour. We are in a highly magical and dangerous site; for your own safety, please refrain from running.

Here in Section A, you can see an assorted pile of treasures gathered by the dragon in the Middle Ages. Follow the signs on the floor and take a step closer…yes, here we are, looking at Ganje-Badavard, one of the eight legendary treasures of Persian King Khosrow II…reported to have been lost, yes, but there were no archaeologists back then. That pile of silver coinage over there belonged to Egill Skallagrímsson…yes, the dragon was a fan of his poems…so they dug up his silver after his death. As you can see on the printed labels, the dragon preferred going out and collecting treasures of their own accord. In this stage, they preferred gold and silver.

However, the dragon’s methodology went through a significant shift after the Renaissance. Here in Section B, you can see a variety of objects obtained from different sources. There are war products, like Jacobite gold; but the majority in this section are stolen objects, like the Sceptre of Dagobert. Look carefully…can you spot the lost treasures listed in your history books? The truth is, a lot of the thieves ‘accidentally’ wandered into the den with a little bit of help of the dragon’s magic…yes, that’s the original copy of Axel von Ferson’s letter to Marie Antoinette…really juicy stuff…Well, let’s say the dragon liked a bit of historical gossip…

Oh I see, you want to have a look at Section E? Well, the labels are not quite complete yet for post WW2 century collections. You’ll notice the dragon has developed an appetite for famous electrical products…remains of rockets, too, in the top-left corner, see that? Try getting those on e-Bay! Haha!

What else is there in the corner? Oh no, those aren’t statues…didn’t I mention the dragon only wants the original for everything? Why so surprised? That actually is the body of Woodrow Wilson…oh hi Nikita…and Joseph![1] Look how well preserved you are!

You’re asking me how the dragon collects politicians? Well, well, Mr Trump, it’s the 21^st century…what better way to lure them here than disguise one’s den as an archaeology museum with limited access and top confidentiality levels, and pretend to be an AI voice guide? I said, I like a bit of historical gossip…

[1] Khrushchev and Stalin.