AnYi 安亦

You are now a dragon. Describe your hoard.

I presume you’ve heard the fable with the two humans and the lion? The one where the first human – knowing it cannot outrun the lion – is resigned to its fate, but the other says, “I don’t need to outrun it. I just need to outrun you.” Well, first things first, let’s get something straight: that was a dragon, not a lion. Why would a lion care about eating humans? Such a simple brute eats only to survive, and thus has no concept of the delicacy that is humanity – it would only see the amount of meat on their bones and decide to go after something that requires less effort to catch. However, despite its inaccuracies, there exists a scale of wisdom within this fable. There is only one thing of import in life; it is not who is the fastest flyer or the most prolific hunter, nor even who sleeps upon the largest mountain of gold. The only thing that matters is not being the target.

That’s not to say that flying, hunting and hoarding are bad things, of course. Merely that you must all find a balance between these luxuries and your more base need of not being shot at. Take my hoard for example. I’m no pauper – not a claw of stone is visible beneath the treasure – and I can stretch my wings all the way out without even touching the walls. But if you were a human, rolling in the dirt and throwing your faeces while you planned your next heist, do you target myself or do you target, say… Smaug? There’s really no contest, is there? A mountain of treasures like that – Smaug probably wouldn’t even notice if you swiped something worth more than the little hovel you call a home. A nest of humans could be set for many generations with only a little blood spilled.

I see you all salivating at the thought of a trove so magnificent, and of course I also feel the appeal. But I remind you what happened to Smaug in the end: he got all huffy about the pesky humans whittling away at said trove, and so he went down in history as ‘Smaug the Skewered’. Stay comfortable, wyrmlings, and leave the overhoarding to those who must distract from how terribly small their tails are.